Madge In the Garden Badge

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …

I used to be the kind of girl that spent her afternoons at fancy boutiques, her weekends at the mall, and her evenings at Macy’s online store. But the older (um, I mean, the more mature) I get, the more I do my shopping in unconventional places. You know, like thrift shops, vintage stores, tag sales, flea markets, and well, the occasional curb.

I mean, I’m not exactly dumpster diving (yet) but you’d be amazed at some of the perfectly great things people will throw away. Well, some of them need a little TLC, it’s true … but TLC happens to be my middle name. Actually, it’s Katherine, but let’s not split hairs.

Anyway, I was driving by a residential street the other day, when my eagle eye happened upon

Get ready for it.

A stack of wood.

I know, it sent chills up and down my spine, too. Bear with me, little chicks, it only gets more exciting from here.

Not just any wood, oh no. A simply beautiful assortment of multicolored pine, beech, oak … okay, I’m making things up; I don’t know much about trees (is there a badge for that?).

All I know is, this stuff was crying out for me to make something wonderful, and speaking of badges, I’ve had my eye on the trellis-making badge for some time now. I was only waiting for the wood, a free afternoon, and my neighbor to return my hammer he borrowed. Was this wood providential or what?

That’s what I thought.

First, I double-checked the availability of said wood (my giddiness may have blinded me to why it was out there curbside—I needed to ask the original owner). He said not only was the wood free to a good home, but he also had a pregnant snake who was looking for a home.

Uh, no. There’s no merit badge for snake ownership, and if there were, I’d be retiring early from this badge-collecting adventure. Shiver.

Anyway, I loaded up my trusty convertible (wishing it was a truck for the 50-squillionth time) and headed home with my find. My neighbor relinquished my hammer, and I set aside a couple hours of my normal book-reading and telly-watching time. Let’s do this thing!

Now, seeing as how I don’t own a saw yet (it’s on my wish list), I had to make do with all my wood cut in the shapes they already were. I lined them up, all according to height, which gave me flashbacks to cheerleading practice. Being short, I was always at the top of the pyramid. The shortest piece of wood, practically a twig really, went on top of my trellis. The two longest, of course, were the sides, and they went up in size as they went down. Savvy?

At the end of my afternoon, I had the cutest trellis known to womankind, and I had only hammered my thumb once. Not bad! It looks adorable leaning against my garden fence. Now all I need is something to climb up it.

And no, not a snake.