Author Archives: mbajane

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Each Other/I Should Have Been in the Movies! Merit Badge, I had to conquer a lifelong fear. A phobia. Not spiders, those misunderstood little gentlemen of the buggy world. Not heights, which give me a delicious, butterflies-in-the-ol’-tummy kind of thrill. Not deep water, which only makes me practice my mermaid kicks and hair tossing. Not even the dark, which just makes me crave warm milk and a nap. No, no, my fear is of … public speaking.

I know. You’re shocked, right? I kinda am, too. I mean, I’m an exuberant personality! A talkative gal! If I were to write my autobiography, it’d be chock full of exclamation points!!!!!!!!

!!

But there’s something about putting me on stage, or *gulp* focusing a camera on Yours Truly, and I freeze.

Just ask my third grade teacher, Miss Trunchbull, who demoted me from Pretty Princess to Rock #4 faster than you could say, Speak up, Miss Jane, I can’t hear a word you’re saying over all that melodramatic knee knocking.

Memories. Some light the corners of your mind and some just need to be buried under a mountain of chocolate pudding.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Each Other/Farmgirl Spirit Merit Badge, I found a creative outlet for my spring fever. Spring fever? Say it isn’t so! Farm Romance Fever sounds more like it.

Having all these badges under my belt (figuratively speaking, of course), I really wanted to do something with them. Namely, show them off a bit. All in the name of hospitality, naturally. I didn’t really want to show off the badges, per se, but the skills I acquired earning those badges. Know what I mean, organic string bean?

Just a little farmgirl humor there …

I always host a party in Spring. Maybe it’s that the days are getting a bit longer, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve done my spring cleaning and want to show it off before the dust settles once again, maybe it’s the joy of packing up the sweaters and boots and pulling out the flip-flops and sundresses, but whatever it is, I’m always ready for some friendship and good eats ‘long about May! So, in my best handwriting, I mailed an invitation to my idol, a man who turned 80 yesterday, a man who has used his fame and fortune to help the farmers of America a tremendous amount—Willie Nelson. Imagine my surprise when not only did he RSVP, he RSVP-ed a resounding Yes! Evidently, I was not the only one in need of some farmgirl interaction, eh?

First things first, I planned my menu. I used to plan my menus based on whatever was on the cover of the first foodie magazine that caught my eye standing in line at the grocery store. Nowadays, I base my menu according to what’s in season and what’s calling my name at the Farmers’ Market.

Do you hear that?

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Stitching and Crafting Merit Badge, I put my tongue between my teeth, settled down in a comfy spot, and got out my paper collection. Since I’ve been recycling and trying not to waste not/want not, my paper supply was getting out of hand. I’ve never really tried origami unless you count my heart-shaped valentines or the way I attempt to fold napkins at Thanksgiving (and I don’t think the Buddhist monks who perfected origami would consider it such), so I was in for a learning experience, thank you very much.

Evidently, no one knows for sure and certain who invented the art of origami—the Japanese or the Chinese—but I think I can safely say they have both excelled at it. Me? Not so much.

Not yet, anyway … but just you wait until Thanksgiving.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Intermediate Level

For this week’s Each Other/Land a Hand to Families Merit Badge, I traveled to Florida to see my Gramma Barbie. Well, I was going anyway, but an opportunity to earn another badge kind of presented itself. (What? I’m not addicted! I can stop anytime I want to. Is there a 12-Step Program for Badge Lovers?) Gramma broke her hip recently and could use a little help from her favorite granddaughter.

My gramma is a real get-up-and-go kinda girl, so I knew this weekend wasn’t going to be a walk in the park for either of us. She is more the serve-others type, not the sit-still-and-boss-your-granddaughter-around type, so I figured we both had our work cut out for us.

(Gramma could seriously use the Relaxation Merit Badge).

Still, knowing all this and surviving this were two very different things.

Gramma had already had her surgery when I arrived, had been released from the hospital, and was in a fine mood when I arrived. And by a fine mood, I mean she was stir crazy, going nuts, and fighting off a bad case of cabin fever. Just cleaning her house and plugging a movie in for her was not going to do it. I may have been over my head.

I started with making her some sweet tea. This I was prepared for. Most grammas like their sweet tea, and I was determined to change a few of her bad eating habits when I was there, so I had smuggled in some organic, loose-leaf Assam and a jar of my favorite local honey. Turns out, I was naïve. I had to wean her off her Lipton and a pound a sugar per glass, g r a d u a l l y. I started by diluting hers little by little with my homemade brew, until she was drinking half-and-half and none the wiser. I was feeling pretty sneaky, but since I was pretty sure I was saving her from a sugar coma, I smothered the guilty feeling with logic (and a cookie).

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Each Other/Little Squirts Merit Badge, my ears really thanked me. All my doors, windows, hinges, well, nearly everything in my life that could potentially squeak, was squeaking.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,882 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,641 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Farm Kitchen/Forage for Food Merit Badge, I started paying attention to my feet. That’s right, my need-a-pedi-stat feet, in my new Spring sandals. Why, you may ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Because up until now, I have been committing plant-icide. And not just on weeds, no, no! I’ve been guilty as charged for the heinous murders of FOOD.

Yes, food. Now, color me innocent (a violet or pale pink, I believe) but I really had no idea how many plants can be nibbled, munched, cooked, and snacked upon. In fact – get this – it’s easier and smarter to learn which plants cannot be eaten, and go from there. When I started out earning this badge, I had my handy-dandy sticky note/memo pad at the ready. I thought that would be appropriate and perfect for my short list of a handful of edible plants. Wrong. Turns out I needed page after page of full size paper to keep a running tally.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,882 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,641 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Farm Kitchen/Bustin’ Out Merit Badge, I decided to home in on my grocery shopping skills, and drag along invite my BFF, Midge, as well. See, Midge is a bit preoccupied with her triplets these days, so she hasn’t been as on top of the whole organic thing as she wants to be. And let’s face it, peeps, I can get better at it myself (says the girl with a hidden shelf of Twinkies. Ahem. ‘Fession time!)

So, I tossed those Twinkies with nary a tear (hoping they will biodegrade in a hundred years or so), and slung my reusable shopping bags over my shoulder. I brewed some chai to keep the pep in our step and we were off! I don’t know about you girls, but it’s more difficult for me to eat all organic or local during the winter months. The Farmers’ Market is closed and a girl can get tired of nothing but spaghetti squash, know what I mean? But we were optimistic. Well, Midge was just happy to be out of the house with a clean shirt on, but you get the drift.

Luck was on our side right from the get-go: as soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, we noticed a farmer’s stand advertising local, organic honey. He was kind enough to dribble a spoonful into my chai and I was totally sold. Yum, a better sample than even old Costco can provide!

We entered the grocery store, and I firmly steered Midge away from the center aisles. She didn’t know this little trick, so I explained that’s where they stock the bad-for-you/bad-for-your-wallet kind of stuff. She said thanks, but when I turned my back, she was sprinting for the potato-chip aisle. I think there needs to be a 12-Step Program for Recovering Bad Eaters.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,945 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,765 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Farm Kitchen/Cheese Making Merit Badge, I was excited about two things:

1. It isn’t a recipe as much as it is a guideline.

and

2. I got to braid my hair in my favorite, but underutilized, hairstyle: Swiss Milkmaid.

First up: buttermilk.

Now, buttermilk is one of those things I forget even exists until I watch my yearly screening of White Christmas and Rosemary Clooney asks Bing Crosby for a nice, cool glass of buttermilk and a liverwurst sandwich. (She had me at buttermilk, she lost me at liverwurst). But then I learned having buttermilk on hand for all my baking needs (which there are a plethora) made my scones moister, my muffins softer, my cakes lighter, and my homemade ranch dressing a real crowd pleaser. So, now I’m sold: there will buttermilk in my fridge at all times.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,882 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,641 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Each Other/Farmgirl Shutterbug Merit Badge, I was pretty thrilled to finally take my Christmas gift from Gramma Barbie out of the box. That’s right. It’s been sitting there, collecting dust, the owner’s manual staring up at me, for quite a few weeks now. What is it, you ask?

Why, a camera, of course!

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,882 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,641 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …

For the continuation of this week’s Stitching and Crafting/Basketry Merit Badge, I straightened my shoulders, cracked my knuckles, and dove right back in where I left off: weaving my own willow wicker basket. Just in time for Easter, my little peeps!

To recap, I had begun with soft willow branches. I chose eight of the pluckiest looking branches and used a sharp knife to make a slit in the center of half of them. I then inserted the remaining four (and you thought I wasn’t good at math—HA!) through, centering them. Capisci? Sometimes I channel my inner Italian lady when crafting; don’t mind me.

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