Author Archives: mbajane

Madge In the Garden Badge

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

I used to be the kind of girl that spent her afternoons at fancy boutiques, her weekends at the mall, and her evenings at Macy’s online store. But the older (um, I mean, the more mature) I get, the more I do my shopping in unconventional places. You know, like thrift shops, vintage stores, tag sales, flea markets, and well, the occasional curb.

I mean, I’m not exactly dumpster diving (yet) but you’d be amazed at some of the perfectly great things people will throw away. Well, some of them need a little TLC, it’s true … but TLC happens to be my middle name. Actually, it’s Katherine, but let’s not split hairs.

Anyway, I was driving by a residential street the other day, when my eagle eye happened upon

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Let’s Get Physical

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Now that the dulcet strains of Olivia Newton John are stuck your head for the rest of the day, let’s talk fitness! (It’s actually a merit badge.) Since I’ve made over my diet pretty darn well in the past year (goodbye, Mr. Chips, hello, Mr. Fruit Smoothie), I have finally decided to tackle the other part of my health plan.

Exercise.

Is it just moi, or did that word send shivers down your spine? I’m breaking a sweat just thinking about breaking a sweat. I feel like I need a good cooling down, and I haven’t done the aerobic activity yet. This is bad.

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Public Service

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Mr. Wonderful has a wonderful way of being involved in the community that I’ve really sat up and taken notice of. I decided to take a page from his book, so to speak, and really up my connection to my hometown … and what do you know? There’s a merit badge for just such community spirit!

I have to admit to being a little intimidated by going to a town council meeting, but on the other side of that nervous pancake, I have always kind of wondered what they talk about in there. I mean, were they discussing the length of my grass, the state of my favorite downtown restaurants, voting in a new Bed, Bath and Beyond? What was all the chatter about every third Wednesday?

I resolved to find out by giving myself a new do and picking out an I-mean-business outfit.

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Cross-stitch

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s Merit Badge, I decided to tackle cross-stitching! Why, you ask? Well, that’s easy. I started a book club.

Huh?

Let me explain.

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MBA Jane: Civic Heritage

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

History has never been my thing … my forte … my area of expertise, if you will. I was usually the one in Mr. Boring Pants history class in school, yawning and doodling on my exam. Maybe I am just a forward thinker? A future-focused kind of girl?

 

But all that’s about to change! Getting my Civic Heritage Badge has made me a believer:

 

History is actually, sorta, you know, like, fascinating! Not boring … or scary at all. Except for all that battle stuff.

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Shocker. I mean, really, who knew? Not me. And not Mr. Boring Pants, either, I’d wager. He almost put himself to sleep once, as he droned on and on about the Cuban Mission Crisis. Cuban Missing Crisis? Cuban Michelin Crisis? I never did hop on the express train to knowledge with that one.

Anyhow.

Confession time: As embarrassing as it is to admit, I have never set foot in my local museum. I know! Grab your pitchforks and heat up the tar, ladies. I am truly sorry, and I will make up for it by going several times per year now. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, if I lie. (Well, not that part so much.)

When I told the lady at the front desk that it was my first time there, she was kind enough to give me the educational packets she hands out to the elementary kids. A bit humbling, to be sure, but hey, I love a good word scramble and scavenger hunt. I eyed a group of first graders with the gleam of competition in my eye (better than a needle any day). They were going down!

Turns out the history of my little town was actually sort of interesting, especially when there are black and white photographs to go with the dry old plaques. Talk about roughin’ it! Man, those pioneers were some tough old birds. Even the children looked like they could teach me a thing or two about life.

I swear, I found a dead ringer for my Grandma Barbie in one of the photos. I nearly swallowed the pencil I had between my teeth (trying to be libraryish), and did a major double take. Could my ancestors have come over on the Oregon Trail? On the Mayflower? Were they involved in the Cube Shaped Missing Crisis? Hmm. My thoughts were going a mile a minute. I was thinking an interview with Grandma Barbie was next … I could be the genealogist of the family. I could get my own television show.

MBA Jane, Ancestor Hunter

Woman vs. the Past

The TV crew could drop me in the prairie with nothing but my survival skills and a cast-iron skillet …

Wait. I just saw a photo of a primitive outhouse.

Never mind.

Back to reality (and it seems as though that class of first graders is one room ahead of me). Egads! Moving right along.

So, it turns out, I don’t hate history. Epic knowledge. These merit badges surprise me every time. Maybe I don’t not like mayonnaise? Cheap dates? Bad perms? Only time will tell.

MBA Jane: Entrepreneurial Spirit

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Well, the first thing I had to do to earn my Entrepreneurial Spirit Badge was figure out how to spell the dang thing. I like to write down my adventures in badges, you know, and I’ve been trying to better myself by not abusing spell check. (I like to think of spell check as an over-worked, under-paid serf, residing in my laptop). So, anyway, about 10 years later, I got the spelling of entrepreneurial right. And I’ll never forget it.

On to the actual badge. (Would a badge about starting a gardening business be a entremanure badge?) 

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Rocking Out

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

My first thought: now this is an unusual badge.

My second thought: this is a badge I can rock!

My third thought: I got rhythm … I got music … who could ask for anything more? Well, a girl could ask for Gene Kelly, but I’m realistic.

A whole merit badge on music; I am sooo ready for this.

I was sooo over confident.

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Turns out I’m not as melodiously gifted as I once thought. I mean, yeah, I can peg the winner of American Idol three weeks in, sure, and I can nail a few childhood campfire songs. And you can bet I’m a good go-to karaoke partner, but REALLY knowing the ins and outs of crooning? Well, surprisingly enough, there’s more to it than I originally thought.

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Horse Dreams

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

I already told you about my love affair with horses (well, okay, more a love affair OF horses. The other isn’t quite right if you stop to think about it) so when I saw a way to earn a Merit Badge equestrian style, you better believe my boots were on before you could say “giddy up!”

And I’m not kidding around about the boots. Cowgirl boots are one of the best fashion statements EVAH. And they never go out of style! Boots with shorts, boots with fluffy skirts, boots with jeans; is there anything they don’t complement? I think not.

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All dressed up, I headed out on a little Pony Scavenger Hunt, so to speak. I brought along a few horse books from the library, my binoculars, camera, and my cowgirl spirit. I figured driving along the back country roads, top down, wind in my hair, spying for my favorite animal in the entire world, was a pretty good way to spend my afternoon! I decided each time I saw a horse, I would look up its breed and jot it down in my journal. And who knows, maybe I’d get lucky and get to meet an owner who liked to share his livestock … you know? Just a turn or two around the corral?

Thumbing through my book, I realized I hadn’t known as much about the animal as I had originally thought. Turns out, owning every My Little Pony ever made doesn’t give you a real foundation for knowledge of the breeds.

My first lightbulb moment was learning that a pony isn’t a pony. I mean, a PONY is a pony, but a baby horse is a foal! Wha?? I know. I was just as confused as you are now. You aren’t confused? Well, humor me. Anyway, turns out a pony is an actual breed, not just a miniature horse. A Miniature Horse is a miniature horse. Are you with me? Hang on; the ride’s about to get even bumpier. Stallions don’t have to be black. Who knew, right? You knew? Fine. Now I know, too.

At the end of my drive, I had a journal list of the horses I’d seen and identified, a yearning for a Palomino all my own (or maybe an Appaloosa), and a database of new words like

Dressage
Withers
Lunging
Gait
Gelding
Hand (for measuring how tall a horse is; one hand=4 inches)
Hackamore

My list of horse friends was growing, too. On it, I had

American Paint Horse
American Quarter Horse
Pinto
Arabian
Appaloosa (swoon!)
Thoroughbred
American Saddlebred
Peruvian Paso
Tennessee Walking Horse
Morgan
Clydesdale (made me want to be pulled on a sleigh while singing Christmas carols, but maybe that’s just me)
Belgian
Percheron

Palomino (squeal!)

I even got lucky and set up a riding lesson with the owner of an adorable Quarter Horse named Spunky. Spunky and I are going to be good friends; I can feel it. She even matches my boots.

Farm Kitchen: Dad’s Baked Beans

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

The other day, I got to thinking. I know. It happens sometimes, usually when I least expect it. I was thinking, pondering, marinating if you will, on food. Yup. Food. That glorious stuff I’m really learning to enjoy mightily now that I’ve taken the plunge to really notice what I’m putting in my body. And you know what they say: You are what you eat. For too many years, I was a Big Mac with fries and a Diet Coke. Now I’m more of a veggie pita with iced sun tea!

So, anyway, I was thinking about food from my past. Like, for example, that red velvet cake I had for my seventh birthday, Uncle Bill’s chocolate chip cookies, Midge’s waldorf salad, Gramma Barbie’s pot roast, Mom’s eggnog, and Dad’s baked beans. You know, food that has a specific time and date and memory attached to them? Yeah, those kinds. Eggnog from 1994, that’s what I’m looking for … figuratively speaking, of course.

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That’s right, peeps …

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s merit badge, I’m making a commitment …

A commitment to never hearing these words again:

“Would you like paper or plastic?”

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