Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …
Some badges are just plain tasty. Homemade potato chips, organic grocery shopping …
Did someone say “icing on the cake?” Count me in, and quickly!
Decorating cakes just happens to be my specialty; after all, I have Seasons One and Two of Ace of Cakes on dvd, and I’m not ashamed to say I have a cake decorating game loaded on my Blackberry. So, when it came to this badge, chickies, let’s just say …
… I came to this badge.
I even signed up for a class through my local community education classes and it really felt like I was back in school. That has its ups and downs; for example, I was hoping to never have to walk by the gym again because of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to Freshman Basketball, but I fondly got to hug my old locker. Lots of memories there…and lots of photos of Ken cut out in the shape of hearts. There may or may not have been a Vanilla Ice poster taped up inside for a while, too. Don’t judge. Midge was obsessed with Milli Vanilli so I think we know who had the superior music taste. Blame it on the rain, Midge, blame it on the rain.
I was expecting our instructor to be a Paula Deen lookalike, but he turned out to be more of a Gordon Ramsey, disguised as a community education teacher. He was passionate about cakes, I’ll tell you that much. He nearly had a coronary when someone innocently brought in icing in a tube, and when my frosting roses weren’t going so well, I pretty much saw my whole life flash before my eyes. He kept shouting things like,
Knead the fondant! Isn’t fondant something to dunk your pretzels and cheesecake wedges into?
Fleur de leis! Your fleur de leis’ make me want to kill myself! This from a man whose apron looked like something that belonged to a mad scientist?
Ganache is to be treated with the respect dark chocolate deserves! Come to Mama, my sweet baby ganache, come to Mama…
Do not confuse Flower Nails with Decorating Nozzles? Who put who in the what now?
Stop eating the marzipan! Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me.
Eventually, we made it through our two week class and I learned to love Mr. Cake Nazi. He really just wanted the best for us (and the best basket weave and Corneille Lace). At the end, I had a gorgeous (if slightly lopsided and droopy) cake, a new appreciation for Dotted Swiss, and an extra three pounds around my love handle.
You know what they say about muffin tops, ladies. It’s the best part of the muffin.
Er, cake.
