Thanks for stopping by.
Y-O-U just made my day. And I happen to know you look absolutely gorgeous right now.
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Now, tell me the truth, how did you react to my compliment?
I’m hoping you felt a little flower of joy bloom inside your chest.
I’d love it if you thought, “She’s right, I DO look great today.”
The thing that troubles me is the possibility that you flinched, fidgeted, and started shooting down that compliment before it even got the chance to make you smile …
“What’s her motive?”
“That’s over-the-top.”
“She doesn’t really mean it.”
Or.
“Yeah, right. I’d feel absolutely gorgeous if I could get my nose straightened, enlarge my eyes, lower my brow, raise my brow, tuck my tummy, thin my thighs, lift my butt …”
You know the drill.
If we aren’t doing it ourselves, we’re hearing it from others. Women have a way of fending off praise like it’s poison. Somewhere along the way, we seem to have confused putting ourselves down with politeness.
I think it’s time for a change.
Complimenting friends, coworkers, and even the occasional stranger feels as fabulous as doling out daisies.
Receiving kind words should be as pleasurable—and as easy. Who wouldn’t accept a daisy with decorum?
I’m going to imagine myself pushing the pause button after getting a compliment.
“What a gorgeous blouse—you look fabulous in that color!!!!”
Wait …
Time to catch my breath, bite my tongue.
Thinking something negative is not an option.
Instead, I catch hold of that compliment and visualize one of my favorite breathtaking iris in its place.
The response is suddenly so simple:
Thank you.
Turn those words loose; let ’em fly.
Together, they make magic, and the effect is almost startling in its sweetness. As soon as I utter the words thank you, I feel resplendent!
But even more satisfying is the expression on the face of the person who paid me some praise. She doesn’t cringe or shrug the way she might if I made a mess of her thoughtfulness.
Instead, she beams, grateful that her gift was accepted just the way she meant it.
I am so guilty of this. Sometimes I think it has to do with the values we were taught on the 1950s about nice girls are not boastful or go around”tooting” their own horn. As a result, you never learn to accept a compliment. Today, I think girls and young women have been duped by the media image of what is perfect. Not only is it shallow and not realistic, it has made the plastic surgery industry a gold mine in medicine. And if you don’t look like you are ready for prime time, you feel less than acceptable and that makes it harder to even acknowledge a compliment . In my opinion , America has a lot to do to change this crazy measurement of female success. Till then, I sadly predict more compliments will be falling on deaf ears!
First of all, THANK YOU for the compliment! I do look good. 🙂 You are looking pretty good yourself!
I love what you are saying. We should get pleasure both giving and receiving a compliment and “Thank you” really is the polite and right thing to say.
Another easy response that I don’t hear in So. California very often is “You’re welcome.” What happened to that simple reply? Every time someone replies to “Thank you” with “No problem” or “It was nothing” or (God help me) “Whatever” it sort of negates what they did for you. They might as well say, “I wouldn’t have done it if it took any real effort on my part.”
While I think humility is important, you are so right about being a gracious receiver of a kind compliment and praise. We so need encouragement every day. I’m guilty of the response you describe. Trying to get better :o)
THANK YOU, for noticing. I feel great too. I’m working on gratitude and sharing. Your pictures are inspiring to always find the goodness in a day. So thank you too.