Mindfulness Meditation Merit Badge, Beginner Level

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 7,328 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—10,420 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Make It Easy/Mindfulness Meditation Beginner Level Merit Badge, I told myself to take it easy.

“Take it easy, Me,” said I. I tried to muster up my sage, mindful, deliberate, and in other words, calm, cool, and collected inner voice. Since my inner voice is typically a hungry toddler who needs a potty break, it took some doing.

Meditation. Isn’t that something yogis do (not the bear … the super flexible people who sip on shots of wheatgrass and fold their legs behind their ears, all while looking spiffy in expensive stretch pants and complicated sports bras)?

Or perhaps it’s something Buddhist monks do?

Or New Age tree huggers?

No?

I, too, can (and probably should) meditate?

Well, color me surprised.

photo by Sebastien Wiertz via Flickr.com

The very idea was pretty intriguing, so I did what I do best: I researched my newfound interest at the library while munching on a ham sammie.

Interesting side note: you can trace what my interests have been while being a farmgirl earning badges based on the organic mayonnaise stains I leave behind at the library.

Another interesting side note: I am no longer allowed to bring in food to the library. That librarian is old school and a bit of a tyrant. Sheesh. Accidently leave behind one small tuna bagel on a shelf and you’re banned for life. Unfair.

Anyway, I learned that for mucho beginners like moi, you can find guided meditations on the Web. How cool! I’m all about tutorials. They’re the bee’s knees. You can find a tutorial for anything these days: I’m currently filming my own on “How to Eat Your Way Through a Box of Tacos In Three Easy Steps for Health and Happiness Part I.” I think there’s a real market for it. After all, my tutorial on “How To Eat Your Way Through the Non-Fiction Section at Your Library” practically went viral.

Until Librarian Sour-Face left me 1 star on Yelp.

Humph.

Armed with some interesting guided mediations, a scented candle (made by Yours Truly, of course), a CD of Yanni (seemed appropriate, but perhaps too stereotypical?), and my own not-so-expensive stretchy pants and not-so-complicated sports bra, I began.

To earn your Beginner Badge, you only need to mediate for five minutes per day, for one week.

Me, being an over-achiever, I way outdid that. I mediated for two hours per day the first week!

Okay, okay, 1 hour and 55 minutes of that was spent snoring facedown, drooling on my yoga mat, and nearly burning the house down with my soothing lavender scented candle. Lesson learned.

photo by Chika Watanabe via Flickr.com

The next week, I sheepishly started over, and changed up the routine a bit. I exchanged Yanni for Dance Party Jam Mix Tape IV, and switched the candle scent to Bacon (who can sleep while you’re listening to Pump It Up and smelling bacon? No one, that’s who). I also put the yoga mat back from whence it came (propping up my busted dryer door), and retired the not-too-complicated sports bra.

Turns out I mediated much better in my old jeans and flannel shirt at my kitchen table, anyway.

At the end of Week II, I was not as well rested as Week I, but I felt quite a bit more mindful and energetic.

Though that also could be my bacon-scented candle.