Oh, honey …

who among us northern gals

hasn’t secretly bid her tongue to slip

effortlessly into that sweet southern nectar

known as a d-r-a-w-l.

Or, should I say,

d … r … a … w … l …

That’s right, you have to slow it down,

stretch every syllable out a little bit m-o-r-e,

maybe even summon an extra syllable or two.

Just for effect.

Lil’l Southern Belles by Hamilton Hamilton, 1894, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Well, in case you’d like to try your tongue at a tantalizing twang

(you know, in the car while you’re driving alone, in the shower where no one can hear … ),

start with this word:

mabalane.

No, not just mabalane all squished together …

Like this:

maa … buh … layyyn …

That’s it!

The funny thing about this word is that it’s really an obscure term that comes to us from South Africa, meaning “a clerk, a secretary; a person whose work includes the keeping of written records.”

It’s not really the definition that matters, though, it’s the way it sounds rolling from your lips.

Master the word mabalane, and soon you’ll be hollering “y’all!”

with the best of those silver-tongued southern belles.

Vivian Leigh in Gone with the Wind courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Leave it to a bunch of hens …

Those garrulous girls can be heard

all around the farm.

Squawk!

Is a raccoon causing the ruckus?

A weasel, perhaps? Stray dog? Barn cat? Eagle? Owl?

The uproar sends me running every time,

tripping over my feet and bushes along our pathways,

to see what’s ruffling their feathers.

And more often than not,

what do I find?

Just a coop full of cachinnating chickens …

What’s so funny?

Photo by Jeff Kramer via Wikimedia Commons

Cachinnate (KAK-i-nayt): a verb meaning to laugh very loudly or immoderately.

Have you ever considered how many women’s names have taken on double meanings in the English language?

If you’re scratching your head, take it from a gal who knows …

A Mary Jane, after all, isn’t a far cry from a MaryJane.

(I prefer the Butters version.)

See what I mean?

If you’re a Nellie or a Patsy, you’re nodding emphatically right now.

Unfortunately, girls named Nellie and Patsy are harder to come by these days,

thanks to popular expressions that have put a damper on their demand.

“Whoa Nellie! It just ain’t so,” said Nervous Nellie. “Don’t blame me. I refuse to be your Patsy.”

Let’s take a gander at several handles that have become noteworthy

(or even a tad notorious)

by their starring roles in our ever-evolving vernacular …

Mary Jane

My name, with a space between, doubles as the name of a …

perfectly legal …

shoe.

I must say I’m pleased as punch—who doesn’t love a Mary Jane? It’s a shoe-in.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Plain Jane

Some Janes have it harder than others. Jane paired with plain is a term used to describe a woman of “unremarkable appearance.” With a play on words, I named my milk chocolate “Playin’ Jane.”  I quite prefer her lack of fanfare over the more complicated Janes. Divulge your favorite type of chocolate in the comments section below and this Playin’ Jane (along with her friends, Almond Daze and Mintsummer’s Day) will get mailed to you when our very own StellaJane picks your name out of our giveaway hat.

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It’s barely 10 a.m.,

but you feel like munchin’ …

You’re craving some crunchin’ …

Can’t wait for a luncheon!

No worries, my dear.

Let’s do a nuncheon.

I didn’t make this one up,

honest.

“Nuncheon” is every bit as real a word as luncheon,

and both were invented in the 19th century

(by Mother Necessity, of course).

After all, a gal can get mighty hungry come mid-morning.

At the beginning of the nineteenth century, breakfast often occurred well after sunup, and dinner came along in mid-afternoon, so lunch as we know it wasn’t really an issue.

But as time went by, dinner got pushed back hour-by-hour, and, well, you can see the obvious problem.

“Luncheon” began to light upon the tongues of the hungry, but some cynical soul deemed it a vulgar term.

Somehow, nuncheon (which may have been pronounced noon-shine) was easier on the ears.

Go figure.

According to period author Regina Scott of Nineteen Teen, nuncheon food “was laid out on a sideboard in the dining room, and you could pick from cold meats like ham and roast beef, pickles, fruit preserves, and dessert-type items like cakes, buns, and tarts, all washed down with ale or tea. You might even grab up a sandwich of bread, meat, and cheese.”

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