The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,450 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,160 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Outpost/Pampered Pets Expert Level Merit Badge, I sat Ms. Twinkles down and had a stern discussion. My frolic-y, paranoid, yappy, temperamental Pomeranian sometimes needs a good, old-fashioned, come-to-Jesus type of talk, and since she had just gone through my trash and yakked up a chicken bone all while barking madly at a leaf blowing by the window, I figured now was as good a time as any. In order to earn my Expert Level Merit Badge, this was my mission:

• Volunteer at your local humane shelter, equine therapy ranch, or other animal-care facility. Spend 10 hours volunteering or Complete Canine Good Citizen training with your dog, and consider continuing his training to be a therapy dog.

Photo by Peter Wadsworth via Wikimedia Commons

“Okay, fuzz face, this is how it’s gonna be,” I began, disentangling myself from my constant lap sitter. “Off! Dude, pay attention! Let go of my sweater.”

A branch tapped the window and Ms. Twinkles started up with her mad yipping again. She jumped up and down like a toddler who’d eaten the whole box of fruit snacks.

“Down, Ms. Twinkles!” I shouted, as she pulled down my drapes in her feverish pursuit of nature. “Stop it this instant!”

This was not going to work. My dreams of Ms. Twinkles becoming a therapy dog or even lasting more than 10 minutes in Canine Good Citizen Training was rapidly fading.

I sighed and left her chasing the mailman as I headed out to my local animal shelter.

They promptly signed me up for something called “House Training.” I hoped having a well behaved ex-shelter dog of my own was not a prerequisite. It was a little embarrassing to be trained by what looked to be an 11-year-old volunteer, but I bravely soldiered on as we walked the length of Dog Town. Such cuties. I loved them all and wanted to take them all home immediately.

“Dude, pay attention,” said the 11-year-old. She was hard-core. I snapped to attention and tried to ignore the ever-so-adorable Border Collie who was making eyes at me.

Photo by John Haslam via Wikimedia Commons

I spent all day at the shelter and learned so much, I was excited to head home and try out my newfound education and skills on Ms. Twinkles. She wouldn’t know what hit her—metaphorically speaking, of course. She’d be eligible for Good Citizen Training in no time, I just knew it.

Things I learned at the shelter (beside how not to adopt every dog in sight. Maybe just one … or two …):

• Squirrely little dogs need a properly fitted harness when walking.
• When walking dogs past the row of kennels (or anytime you are coming in contact with another canine), put the dog on the same side as the other dog(s). You don’t want to be in the way if a fight or a snarl or a bite breaks out.
• Flattened-back ears and a cowering posture is not actually a doggy being meek. This is a bad sign. The dog is stressed and anxious. If they look away, ignoring your very existence, akin to the way a 2-year-old child plays Hide and Seek by closing her eyes, this is another sign of stress and anxiety.
• The best way to house train your newfound bestie is to take him out promptly after eating. Reward his potty efforts.

I spent five hours at the shelter, and will spend another five next weekend, hanging with the kitties and socializing them. Just call me Dr. Jane Doolittle!

Photo by Ldesgreniers via Wikimedia Commons

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Wendy Beach!!!

Wendy Beach (WSBeach, #6344) has received a certificate of achievement in Garden Gate for earning a Beginner Level Bee Good to Your Mother Earth Merit Badge!

“I have a small shaded backyard at my apartment so I made two raised beds in front of my apartment along with some other planters for my garden. I planted beets, chard, blueberries, strawberries onions, kitchen herbs and chamomile. I helped my granddaughter plant her first garden earlier this spring and start a compose pile. She harvested carrots, Radishes and oregano. I also read Montrose: Life in a garden.

I use Rosemary,Parsley,Thyme,and Oregano for cooking and I dehydrated catnip and chamomile for teas. I have used chard, onions in soups and stews. Now I have planted tomatoes,mints and peppers and some flowers (wild flowers in back). It makes me feel proud!”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,450 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,160 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Outpost/Disconnect to Reconnect Intermediate Level Merit Badge, I did a little kidnapping.

Oh, pshaw, Janey, my girl, I can hear you say. You would never!

Yes. Yes, I would.

Only my victims weren’t kiddos, they were fully grown adults.

Fully grown adults who you would think could go a full weekend without their phones, gadgets, Blackberries, laptops, iPods, and the like.

Rob124 via Wikimedia Commons

But no. Give me cranky toddlers, hyped up on sugar, with no naps, any day! They’d be a cinch compared to my irritable, technology-addicted girlfriends. Sigh. I did them a favor. Something I’m sure they’ll agree with and echo.

Once they come out of their cravings and withdrawal symptoms and start talking to me again, I mean.

So I suppose it was less like a kidnapping, and more like an intervention. Don’t get me wrong: it wasn’t easy for me to give it all up for a few days either. I mean, I’m as connected and plugged in and cyber social as the next gal, so I felt the withdrawal symptoms, too.

The shaking. The reaching for your phantom phone that isn’t there. The constant imaginary beeping and pinging you hear, even when it’s all in your head. The need to be near an electric outlet at all times in case of a dreaded and hideous Low Battery warning. The sound of silence that makes you run screaming for the nearest television. I get you. I was trembling, too, girls.

Though part of it was because I was pretty sure my friends were going to make me sleep with da fishes if I didn’t produce the tote bag that I accidentally/on-purpose left behind in town. Sixty miles away.

I soothed the savage beasties with a home-cooked meal of flatbread pizzas in our rented cabin, and by bedtime, they were all talking to me again.

Sometimes it was threats on my welfare, but still. Progress.

We stayed up late reminiscing about the Good Ol’ Days (the ones before technology took over our lives), drinking hot cocoa, and telling scary stories (most started out with Once upon a time an evil queen took away her minion’s cell phones and they threw her off a cliff and lived happily ever after without her … yadda yadda yadda).

photo, Masatoshi via Wikimedia Commons

Falling asleep was way hard. There were no comforting devices to cuddle with. No soothing pings in the middle of the night to reassure us that someone in Facebook Land loved us. No midnight Twitter arguments to pop popcorn over and debate in 140 characters or less. No Instagram selfies to post. No Tumbler accounts to follow. No blog post stats to check.  No Shutterfly photos to sort, no profiles to update, no online dating services to lie on.

It was scary. We huddled together for solidarity. We braided one another’s hair and ate more pizza. They made more threats on my life (blah, blah, blah).

By the next day, we were getting used to being without our devices. We could make lunch without taking pictures of it. We could use the bathroom mirror to check our reflections instead of taking selfies. We could have full, uninterrupted conversations.

By the third day, we were digging it. We had gotten know each other more in those three days then we had in the past decade, before our online identities had taken over our real identities.

I’m not saying they didn’t pounce on the tote bag like a starving cheetah on a pudgy zebra, but hey. It’s still progress.

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Ginger Harmon!!!

Ginger Harmon (#6451) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning a Beginner Level Sew Wonderful Merit Badge!

“I put together a beginner’s sewing kit with a homemade pinkeeper owl made by my dear friend, Anne Lister, from England.

I included:

• Several different colors of thread
• Buttons
• Scissors
• Needles
• Straight pins
• Safety pins
• Thimble
• Measuring tape
• Beeswax
• Oh, and my crochet hooks

I love it, and the buttons are easy to view in the Mason jam jar inside the tin. I did learn that one should not put this together with the help of the cat, since he ran off with Mr. Hoot!”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,450 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,160 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …   

For this week’s Stitching and Crafting/Sew Wonderful Intermediate Level Merit Badge, I knew I had to conquer something. Namely: my phobia of printed fabric other than stripes or plaids.

Why stripes or plaids, you ask? My, so inquisitive. Is it because I have a secret obsession with Scottish prints? Was I a candy striper in another life? A Scottish candy striper, perhaps?

Well, no. I’ll tell you the real reason.

They’re so much easier to sew straight lines on.

For example: I made calico print curtains. They hang at diagonal-type draping (not what I was going for). I sewed a batch of polka-dot printed pillows (they were supposed to be square; let’s call the finished product … umm … hexagon-tangle). I made Mr. Wonderful a homemade button-down shirt (the buttons don’t exactly line up).

I’m a mess when it comes to straight lines. I was afraid to show myself at my monthly Sewing Sisters Club. I was ashamed to walk into JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts. I couldn’t even muster enough self-confidence to rifle through the fabric bolts at my local flea market. Something had to be done. I couldn’t live like this!

So, I did what any self-respecting farmgirl would do in a situation like this: I pretended to be infatuated and passionate only about stripes and plaids.

I had no choice.

Don’t judge me.

Eventually, the siren call of gingham was getting too much to bear.

I couldn’t look away from paisley. I found myself sneaking peeks at geometrics. I made puppy dog eyes at toile. I fell into a small coma at a fabric sale and when I came to, I was petting and cooing over a camouflage bolt.

*gasp*

When I found myself clutching a square of trompe l’oeil at 2 a.m. one night, in a clammy sweat, I knew something had to be done.

I sat myself down with a yard of plain blue fabric, and decided to learn to sew a straight seam, once and for all. I gave myself a stern talking to, a pep talk, if you will. It went something like this, in case you, too, need a blueprint for overcoming your straight line phobia:

“Okay, Jane, my girl. Easy does it. Deep breaths. Just use your handy dandy fabric pencil to mark lightly on your fabric … I said, lightly, woman! For cryin’ in the night. Okay, okay, I’m sorry. You’re doing fine. It’s a bit diagonal, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t straight, does it? Good. Good. Very good. Um, not so good. Alright, time to sew. Now, now, no shaking. Not with a needle in your hand. Very good. Okay, we’re getting somewhere. This isn’t so bad. Steady now, girl. Steady on …

I ended my 12-step program as I end each 12-step program:

With a set of lovely … and straight—well, straight-ish—curtains made of chintz. And a set of throw pillows made of toile.

photo, PoshSurfside.com via Flickr.com

Feeling proud of myself and my new badge, I decided to conquer another fear: my fear of that peach cobbler in my freezer getting freezer burn. Only one way to remedy that.

 

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Katie Wright!!!

Katie Wright (#5600) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning a Beginner, Intermediate & Expert Level Crochet Merit Badge!

“I have crocheted for years and enjoy making scarfs, hats, and even have enjoyed doilies and bags. I do also make dishcloths, but prefer the knit ones to the crocheted ones. I have made some pretty potholders also.

For my Beginner badge, I made a scarf, crocheting it the long way and using up scraps of yarn. It was crocheted in the back of the stitches and made it ridged, which adds to the texture and prettiness of it. I actually made three of these scarfs and have two to send in my box to the Native American Elders Project in Utah, which I mail out each August with hats, scarfs, socks and mittens, and this year, even a sweater.

My scarf turned our very festive, and I worked on it once at my knitting circle so I could show another lady how to crochet. She likes knitting better, but she at least tried to crochet.

For my Intermediate level badge, I decided to make a carry tote, actually making two: one for my library book tote, and the other I am using to take to a friend’s home, where I am teaching not only her, but her two daughters, ages 8 and 6, to crochet. I have crocheted in front of them, and at my knitting circle when I was working on a scarf and also while glamping and a friend came to visit.

My totes are so nice. I used double strands of yarn and also sewed a corduroy lining for them. I used one of them at the grocery store and the cashier checked it all over as she was learning to crochet, so I shared to pattern with her later.

For my Expert level badge, I have been teaching several people to crochet, and have a few more ladies that have asked me to do so. I start them with a chain and then in making a scarf or dishcloth, and then they can move on to a hat. For my project, I again took much leftover yarn, and used some double and some single and made granny squares, small ones, about 4 inches square. Then I crocheted them together into a very long shawl for myself. I put fringe on it, also in multiple colors. It is cheery, heavy, and warm, and I use it when glamping, either early morning just to pop out with my Daisy Dog or in the evening sitting outside by the campfire.

I believe this piece turned out very lovely. I have had lots of compliments on it. My daughter-in-love (yes, love, not law, but she and my son are legally married for 25 years now) is an avid crocheter. She checked it all over when coming out for breakfast one morning recently while I was glamping near the lake. She plans to make one for a friend and use up some of her scrap yarns.”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,450 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,160 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Stitching and Crafting/Ink Slinger Expert Level Merit Badge, I had to pick a genre of writing.

This was tough.

Genres are like chocolate to me: they’re all good. Well, maybe not year-old Easter bunnies with the ears gnawed off that you find in the back of your pantry, but still.

Photo by domenico bandiera via Wikimedia Commons

I find myself going through genres in phases. There was the year I read every Romantic Suspense novel I could get my hands on, the year where I only wanted Non-Fiction Self-Help How-Tos, and the year I haunted the Poetry aisle at Barnes and Noble. I’m eclectic, okay? There was also the year I shamelessly collected any and all paperbacks with Fabio on the cover, but let’s not talk about that.

Anyway, I settled on the perfect genre for my Expert Level Merit Badge earning goals:

That’s right, peeps. I eat up cookbooks (pardon the pun) like crazy. I drool over their full color photographs of soufflés,

Photo by Pierre-alain dorange via Wikimedia Commons

I swoon at their luscious descriptions of exotic cheeses,

their flour-dusted pages make me melt, their mouthwatering text about sauces and side dishes scrambles my senses, and their delectable wording gives me goosebumps. Words and phrases like

Gently fold in

Ambrosia filling

Buttercream

Coq a vin

En glace

Gastrique

Bouquet garni

Chiffonade

Crème fraiche

Roux

…

They’re like balm for my soul. I collect cookbooks like some people collect stamps or spoons. They’re piled by my bed for midnight reading, they’re stacked by the pantry for easy accessibility, and they’re lovingly arranged on my coffee table for guests to appreciate. In short, I have a problem. But instead of repenting of it, I’m embracing it. And not just embracing it, but adding my own title in, to boot.

And speaking of titles, how to choose? There are so many sub-genres in my genre! Should I stick to desserts, or breads, or backyard fare, or perhaps vegetarian? Simple and easy, or complicated and snazzy? Savory or sweet?

My brain full of too many good ideas, I took a cookie break. And then a deviled egg break.

(What? You don’t take deviled egg breaks?).

My Expert Level Badge needed 20 pages of writing. 20 pages equaled 20 recipes, more or less. I wasn’t sure I could come up with 20 recipes for green beans, so I scratched Haricot Vert Haven as my title. Same problem with 1001 Exciting Ways to Use Paprika.

Titles still in the running as I feverishly scribbled out my outline and first draft:

Heavenly Hominy

Jumbo Gumbo: Large Pot Meals for Large Men

Broccoli for Eating and Foliage for Sprites

Lick the Spoon! Frostings for Beginners

How-To Barbeque with Hand-drawn Illustrations Because My Camera Fell in the Simmering Sauce

While my thoughts meandered through my head, I took a Sweet and Sour Short Rib break (What? You don’t take Sweet and Sour Short Rib Breaks?) and read through my two favorite cookbooks for inspiration and delight: My Life in France, by Julia Child tickled (and pickled) my fancy, and A Treasury of Great Recipes, by Vincent and Mary Price, sent delicious shivers down my spine …

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Sherrilyn Askew!!!

Sherrilyn Askew (Sherri, #1350) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning an Expert Level Nellie Will-do Merit Badge!

“I have spent over 100 hours stitching a costume for the upcoming Women’s Primitive Skills weekend. I made 3 chemises, 3 bloomers, and one linen day dress, all in the style of the late 1700s.

I still need to make a reticule for the weekend. A lady needs to carry her things, and pockets are going out of fashion at this time.”