The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,691 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,460 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Out There Kids/I Am A Survivor Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I snagged my little pal, Nora, and we got ready to put together some Survival Packs. Now, in order to earn this Beginner Level badge, we really only needed to make one, but never let it be said that I make things easy. Or cheaply. Or wisely. So I bought most of our supplies in bulk and we thought we’d make some for our friends and families. I mean, come on. Survival? It’s uh, kinda necessary stuff.

Also, I’ve been reading a lot of zombie novels, and it never hurts to be prepared. Just sayin’.

So Nora came over for the afternoon and we got to work assembling our supplies and packing our baggies. I was surprised at much she couldn’t identify, and the stuff she could identify, she didn’t know why anyone would ever need. So, all in all, our afternoon stretched into the evening. That kid can ask a lot of questions …

Such as:

What’s this weird-looking thing? (Weird-looking thing is a poncho.)

What’s a poncho? I thought a poncho was a type of Alpaca. (Uh, no. It’s a light, rainproof jacket.)

Good, cuz I don’t think we’ll fit an Alpaca in these little bags! HAHA! (Very funny, dear. Let’s try to focus now.)

Whoa! You’re going to give me a pocketknife? SCORE! (Fold that up, please. You’re obviously not ready for that.)

What’s the whistle for? *blows it* Signaling prairie dogs? Practicing my cheers? (For calling for help, you mini weirdo. Stop blowing that thing!)

This is the gnarliest blanket I’ve ever seen! (It’s a space blanket.)

We’re going into space? This Merit Badge stuff ROCKS. (Just hand it here. Sigh.)

Yum, candy. (IN. THE. BAG. MISSY.)

What’s the cord for? *narrows eyes suspiciously* Are we planning on kidnapping someone? (Of course not! What an idea!)

I’m just sayin’… rope, pocketknife, candy … If I find duct tape, Auntie Jane, I’m telling Mom. (Quit it, candy breath.)

I don’t wanna be an accessory to your life of crime, Aunty. (*sigh*)

A mirror? So, like, we can check our makeup while help arrives? Or to see if our rescuers are vampires? (Very funny. It’s for reflecting.)

Wahoo! Matches! I love fire! (IN. THE. BAG.)

Oh, I have one of these already. A first aid kit, right? (Right.)

Whew. That whole thing took a while. We ended up eating most of the candy and granola bars, so we’ll have to replenish those. Nora lovingly used a Sharpie to label the bags, and then she placed them all in a basket, and skipped cheerfully around the ‘hood to pass them out. She was like a Little Red Riding Hood. I wiped a single, proud tear away as I watched her from my porch.

She even left me one, the little sweetie. Then I peered closer at her labeling job:

Zombie Apocalypse Supply Kit (Not For Use For Kidnapping) – BYOC (Bring Your Own Candy)

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Kathy Butler-Bebout!!!

Kathy Butler-Bebout (#6691) has received a certificate of achievement in Farm Kitchen for earning a Beginner & Intermediate Level Forage for Food Merit Badge!

“We had an exceptionally wet spring and early summer here, and have seen many more fungi and mushrooms than usual. My husband, the kids, and I spent an hour looking at the Missouri Dept. of Conservation edible mushroom page to confirm that the fungus growing on several dead logs across the creek were edible.

We had success! We correctly identified the fungus as oyster mushrooms.

My main areas for foraging are SurePop Farm, 240 acres, 12 miles S of Yellville, AR, on Water Creek in rugged Ozark Mountain terrain, a few miles N of the Buffalo River; and Sunrise Farm, 40 acres of bottom and upland pasture on Greasy Creek, 7 miles SW of Yellville. Sunrise Farm has been cultivated and foraged for generations. I searched there this spring for morel mushrooms in a small, undisturbed area in a sycamore grove on the bank of Greasy Creek. Morels, happily, are one of the easiest to identify because of their “spongy, Christmas tree” shape, and the area was relatively free from heavy undergrowth, so they were easier to spot under dead leaves and logs. SurePop is remote and barely cultivated. I targeted the elderberry thicket along the creek, the deep ravine full of dead logs from the ’09 ice storm, and the large flat area overgrown with kudzu on the S side of the farm.

I learned that, for me, the only way to forage for fungi in the off-season is to identify areas with conditions conducive to their growth. I checked these areas periodically through spring, summer, and early fall of 2015. I fell in love with fungi! When the weather turned moist and still, an incredible variety of mushrooms, shelf fungi, puffballs, and the like revealed themselves. I can identify elf’s ear (not edible), morel, oyster, delicious milky cap, lion’s mane, and puffballs.”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,691 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,460 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Stitching and Crafting/Origami Intermediate Level Merit Badge, I began to see paper in a whole new light.

Little bits of trash that rustled through the alleyway? Origami would be-s.

Gum wrappers that mysteriously find their way into the bottom of my car? Paper cranes waiting to happen. Spearmint scented cranes, no less.

Photo by Michael Day via Wikimedia Commons

Wadded-up manuscripts and doodled-on sheets of lined notebook paper? Origami babies.

I collected and smoothed out used tissue paper, I hoarded paper grocery sacks, I bought stacks of scrapbook squares at yard sales, and I even began eyeing my trees with a gleam in my peepers (was there a paper-making badge?).

I was hooked. I loved having something to do with my hands when I misplaced my knitting needles or was stumped on my Great American Novel or couldn’t find the remote control. It gave me something to do when I was waiting in the coffee drive-thru lane for my Organic Almond Latte with Whip. Plus, it was fun making something out of nearly nothing, and I gotta say, my neighbor kids thought I was a genius. Forget balloon animals: origami brings a grin to everybody’s faces. (And they don’t pop or fly away. Score!)

To earn my Intermediate Level Origami Badge I needed to make:

• Three different kinds of animals
• Three different kinds of shapes
• Three different kinds of flowers

Photo by Caroline Gagné via Flickr.com

Only nine in all? Pshaw! Why, I could do that, no problem. I turned to Pinterest for some how-tos and inspiration, and naturally, I tumbled right down a bunny trail of distractions.

Pinterest can be detrimental to an easily distracted gal like Yours Truly. I tell myself to look for origami pandas and I end up baking an Oatmeal Cake with Pecan Glaze. I sternly get back to looking up origami swan nests and I find myself entertained for hours by mustache designing. I go back for origami stars and I binge watch gifs of kittens.

Sigh.

It’s a problem. These badges seem to take forever … maybe it’s me.

Me and my addiction to wine-cork art notions.

Double sigh.

Anyway, after finding some totes adorbs origami puppies (and also learning how to French braid a poodle, but that is neither here nor there), I finally folded my last crease. I had done it:

• An origami Dalmatian, a duck, and a dinosaur
• An origami heart, a star, and a box
• An origami tulip, a lily, and a pansy

It’s not every day you can add all that to your arts and crafts resume, chickadees.

(And learn to build a fairy house out of wine corks. Not to mention, the DIY plastic surgery. Though I may rethink that one).

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Sherrilyn Askew!!!

Sherrilyn Askew ( #1350) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning an Expert Level Quilting Merit Badge!

“I have learned at least three new techniques and patterns, taught more than 5 other people how to quilt (by hand), and completed a quilt that took more than 50 hours to finish.

I made a log cabin quilt-as-you-go quilt using light and dark plaids (it’s for my godson). Because it was not quite long enough, I added a large piece of plaid to one end, then did another round of strips to finish it. Upon looking at it further, I realized that my large piece required quilting, so I hand quilted soccer balls on it using a paper pattern. I think I got all the traces of blood off the back of it. Needless to say, my hands are tired, but I am finally done.”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,691 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,460 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Each Other/Get ‘er Done Intermediate Level Merit Badge, my friends organized a sneak attack. You see, they knew about my Merit Badge addiction hobby, and they were waiting for a good opportunity to strike.

One of them decided to move.

Yeah.

That glorious life change of changing houses.

Boxes, boxes, and more boxes, as far as the eyes could see.

Photo by Mixe2021 via Wikimedia Commons

And they knew I would roll up my sleeves and help a farmgirl out.

I’d be resentful of their cotton-pickin’, strategic, evil-genius-like, shenanigans … if I weren’t so begrudgingly admiring of them.

So, roll up my sleeves I did, and we were off for a full weekend of that great American pastime: moving.

There was an eight-hour minimum time commitment involved in earning my Badge, and just the thought made me laugh maniacally and curl up in the fetal position. I had already promised to finish the job with my pal—eight hours smeight hours—so I was in it for the long haul.

Get it? Haul? U-Haul? Hah.

I could probably earn six Intermediate Level Badges with the contents of this gal’s house, I swear. Minimalist, she is not.

Groan. Throw myself prostate on the floor.

Weep a little.

But back to work! At least it’s not the Hottest Day of the Year, or the Rainiest, or the Coldest (which is when I tend to my own personal moving days in the past). I could probably control weather patterns just by scheduling moving days, actually. Something to think about as a career, Janey: meteorologist/professional mover. Hm. If the Organic Sushi on a Stick Drive-Thru doesn’t pan out …

Unpacking and putting things away in a new house is kinda fun. Packing and cleaning the old house? Not. So. Fun. About as much fun as gnawing off your own eyebrows, which is basically what I felt like doing 7.5 hours in. We started off organized enough: boxes labeled in nice black permanent marker, helpful things like Kitchen Baking, or Non-fiction Books, or Pantry Dry Goods. But then, exhaustion and hunger and wild-eyed craziness set it, and pretty soon I was labeling boxes Lift with Your Legs, Dummy, and Why Do You Even Need These? and These Could Be Replaced at the Dollar General So Why Are You Making Me Pack Them? and my personal favorite, I Sold My Soul to Pack Your Junk Drawer.

I was getting hangry (angry due to hunger), so we stopped for a pizza break. After a nice slice (or four) of a Hawaiian and Jalapeno special, I felt slightly less sarcastic and umm … slightly less like I might murder the next person who misplaced the packing tape. We settled back into a rhythm of wrap, pack, tape, label, repeat, and before we knew it approximately three lifetimes later, we were done.

Well, except for the cleaning of the old house so she can get her deposit back.

Groan.

Weep.

Throw myself prostrate on the floor.

There better be another badge in it for me. I don’t know if I can make it.

Please send cookies.

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,691 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,460 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Farm Kitchen/Unprocessed Kitchen Expert Level Merit Badge, my plan was simple: My girlfriends and I were going to get our significant others (not to mention small ankle biters … ahem, I mean, children) to eat more salad.

You know. Bunny food.

Amid the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the menfolk, we concocted a plan: Come up with some super-yummy, homemade, DIY, organic salad dressings that would make our muscle men, our Hercules, our testosterone-laden overgrown boys swoon for vegetables.

We spent weeks preparing. The men piped down and slowly stopped peering suspiciously in the fridge (probably due to their lack of energy from eating too much red meat and not enough lettuce). Our logic was simple: Swamp ‘em with flavor. Drown ‘em in deliciousness. Spoon them swirls of ranch-flavored goodness, and they’d never even notice the absence of animal flesh.

And the rugrats? What kind of child could resist a poppy seed and strawberry salad? Or a blueberry honey dressing? Or a barbeque chicken chopped salad? They would be powerless to resist the lure of our potluck.

Each farmgirl brought their A game, so to speak. We brought only the best concoctions to our get-together. And the menfolk? Fat Slim and happy.

Photo by jeffreyw via Wikimedia Commons

But that could be partially due to my homemade bacon bits, I don’t know.

Homemade Bacon Bits

Thinly slice bacon (I like to use kitchen shears), Cook until crisp and drain on paper towels. Flash freeze in a single layer on a cookie sheet for about 10 minutes. Place in jar or a ziplock bag and keep in freezer. They’ll defrost quickly, and you can pull them out whenever you need a shake on your salad or baked potato. Or whenever you’re jonesin’ for bacon.

Asian Dressing (perfect for regular salad, but even better on pasta salad, with plenty of colorful veggies mixed in)

• 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• juice of 1 lime
• a handful of poppy seeds and a handful of sesame seeds
• 2 cloves garlic, finely minced
• 2 small shallots, finely minced (can substitute red onion)
• 1 t honey
• 1 t minced fresh ginger
• a splash of rice vinegar or apple-cider vinegar (more if you like it tangy, or if you’re omitting the lime)
• salt and pepper to taste

Photo by Takeaway via Wikimedia Commons

Summer Rolls (they’re like salad, to go!)

• rice-paper sheets (If your grocery store doesn’t stock them, try an Asian market. They’re less than $2 for a large package.)
• thinly sliced vegetables of your choice (Good options are: purple and green cabbage, green onions, carrots, edamame, chiffonade-style spinach or kale (roll up, then slice the rolls), any and all types of lettuce, sugar-snap peas, fresh asparagus, julienned cucumbers, or zucchini.)
• fresh mint and/or cilantro
• shrimp or chicken (optional)
• homemade Asian dressing (see above)
• cooked Asian noodles or crunchy ones (optional)
• peanuts (optional)

Soak rice paper in hot water, one at a time, until pliable (around 30 seconds). Lay flat on a kitchen towel (it will stick to your counter, so a towel works well). Lay your ingredients in the middle, drizzle with dressing, and roll as you would a burrito (sides in first). Roll tightly! This takes some practice. If your rice paper tears, just toss it and try again. The fillings for these are practically endless: try a Buffalo Chicken one with blue cheese and celery, or a Mexican-flavored roll with a taco salad filling. Perfect for lunches and great for little hands, too. Not to mention, they look amazing and you just might get the cover of your favorite foodie magazine …

Bloody Mary Chopped Salad

• very ripe tomatoes (halved cherry tomatoes are the prettiest)

• celery, thinly sliced on the diagonal

• red onion, thinly sliced

• your best dill pickles (homemade if you’ve got ‘em), chopped (could also use capers)

• 1 T celery seed

• shrimp (optional)

• 1/3 cup clam juice, vegetable juice, or tomato juice

• splash of Tabasco (adjust to taste)

• 4 T Worcestershire sauce

• 1/4 cup olive oil

• 3 T horseradish (adjust to taste)

• 1 T Dijon mustard

• black pepper and salt, to taste

• wedge of lime for each serving

Toss together and let marinate for an hour or so. All ingredients are “eye-balled,” depending on how spicy and flavorful you like it. And of course, if the kiddies aren’t partaking, you could always soak your tomatoes in vodka before chopping …

Photo by anders pearson via Wikimedia Commons

Pink Strawberry and Poppy Seed Dressing

• 1 cup fresh strawberries
• 1/3 cup white balsamic vinegar
• 2 T coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, or avocado oil
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 T poppy seeds
• a drizzle of honey (depending on the sweetness of your strawberries)

Combine in blender. Store in fridge. If using coconut oil, you’ll want to bring to room temperature before pouring. This makes a beautiful pink dressing, perfect for the pretty princesses in your life.

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Denise Christiansen!!!

Denise Christiansen (#5509) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning a Beginner Level Aprons Merit Badge!

“I made the clothespin apron from the Farmgirl Jubilee. Its a fun apron and I use it around the house. I have also made several tea towel aprons for gifts.

I think the clothespin apron turned out really cute, especially since it’s out of one of MaryJane’s Milk Cow Kitchen fabrics.”